Emmo
Joined: May 22, 2003
Points: 1065
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I'm a good sport!!
Original Message Feb 24, 2005 5:32 pm |
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Just to show the ladies of the forum that I can take it as well as dish it!........... Best Man Hating One Liners Q: What should you do if you see your ex-husband rolling around in pain on the ground? A. Shoot him again. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Q: How can you tell when a man is well hung? A: When you can just barely slip your finger in between his neck and the noose. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Q: Why do little boys whine? A: They are practicing to be men. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Q: How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb? A1: One -- he just holds it up there and waits for the world to revolve around him. A2: Three -- one to screw in the bulb and two to listen to him brag about the screwing part. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Q: What do you call a handcuffed man? A: Trustworthy. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Q: What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name? A: You did not hold the pillow down long enough. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Q: Why does it take 100,000,000 sperm to fertilize one egg? A: Because not one will stop and ask directions. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Q: Why do female black widow spiders kill their males after mating? A: To stop the snoring before it starts. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Q: Why do men whistle when they are sitting on the toilet? A: It helps them remember which end they need to wipe. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Q: What is the difference between men and women? A: A woman wants one man to satisfy her every need. A man wants every woman to satisfy his one need. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Q: How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail? A: Rename the mail folder "Instruction Manuals".
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Paula
May you have enough happiness to make you sweet, enough trials to make you strong, enough sorrow to keep you human and enough hope to make you happy.
Joined: Apr 30, 2004
Points: 785
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Re: I'm a good sport!!
Reply #5 Feb 24, 2005 10:53 pm |
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Paula, And you know what, I bet that deep within that hard, tough exterior shell, there is a nice, sweet, little charming girl just dying to get out. Not unlike when you find a stray cat, that wants to trust but is so very cautious. Some food, gentle words, a lot of attention and affection, a bit of understanding and soon both will sit nicely in your lap and purr. Uhhhh...yeaaaah...ok...umm...sure.....(personally I would check out the Gatineau hils......but, that's just me......)
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Highwind
Despite the high cost of living, have you noticed how it remains so popular.
Joined: Jan 13, 2004
Points: 985
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Re: I'm a good sport!!
Reply #7 Mar 1, 2005 7:47 pm |
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Highwind, I don't know about that, She drove a motorcycle up a tree! Walt WOMAN DRIVER!!!
Honda stable: HS 724 snowblower; HRS216 lawnmower; BF2 UWWW; 5 HP, 2200 psi/2.9 GPM pressure washer. Electric: BV2500 B&D Leaf Hog/snow duster; old 12" Weedeater.
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Walt
Do what you can, with what you have, where you are. -T. Roosevelt
Location: Chester County, PA
Joined: Dec 31, 2004
Points: 148
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Re: I'm a good sport!!
Reply #8 Mar 1, 2005 8:30 pm |
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WOMAN DRIVER!!!
Highwind, She may have a soft side, I just haven't seen many women who drive motorcycles up trees that have soft sensitive sides. Matter of fact, I haven't known any other women that drive motorcycles up trees, so I really don't know. The wildest I ever got was to drive my 850 through a girls dormatory at a catholic girls college. ...Almost hit a nun or two, so I figured I should just honk and wave, rev the engine a couple of times, and head on out. I have seen many women that put flower arrangements down garbage disposals before the delivery guy left the doorway. Sometimes they would ask the guy to stay there for a minute just for the full effect. Now some of those women had sensitive sides; they were just still angry. That's all...
This message was modified Mar 1, 2005 by Walt
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Paula
May you have enough happiness to make you sweet, enough trials to make you strong, enough sorrow to keep you human and enough hope to make you happy.
Joined: Apr 30, 2004
Points: 785
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Re: I'm a good sport!!
Reply #9 Mar 1, 2005 9:29 pm |
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Highwind, She may have a soft side, I just haven't seen many women who drive motorcycles up trees that have soft sensitive sides. Matter of fact, I haven't known any other women that drive motorcycles up trees, so I really don't know. The wildest I ever got was to drive my 850 through a girls dormatory at a catholic girls college. ...Almost hit a nun or two, so I figured I should honk and wave, rev the engine a couple of times, and head on out. I have seen many women that put flower arrangements down garbage disposals before the delivery guy left the doorway. Sometimes they would ask the guy to stay there for a minute just for the full effect. Now some of those women had sensitive sides; they were just still angry. That's all... OhBlowHardOne You've now pulled some poor unsuspecting bystander (I'm really going out on a limb here Walt- which can be turned into a club at any point - and giving you the benefit of the doubt.) into your she-nanigans....but I know Walt will see the error of his ways (read: realized I wasn't kidding about that silencer...) and turn his back on these childish ploys to taunt me into equally childish retaliation......and if that doesn't work, I am sure the police will believe me when I tell them I mistook you both for trees . And, dammit, I AM TOO SENSITIVE... Paula
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Walt
Do what you can, with what you have, where you are. -T. Roosevelt
Location: Chester County, PA
Joined: Dec 31, 2004
Points: 148
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Re: I'm a good sport!!
Reply #14 Mar 1, 2005 10:20 pm |
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Walt I hope you grabbed a couple of souveniers as you were driving through the Catholic girls' dorm....(and Catholic girls don't count as souveniers...) Paula Unfortunately, Campus security was hot on my trail so I didn't have much time to meander. Since catholic girls don't count I got nothing. If they did count I got 1.
Walt
This message was modified Mar 1, 2005 by Walt
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