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mrmom


Joined: Sep 19, 2003
Points: 345

None tonight.
Original Message   Mar 24, 2005 4:13 pm
I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men
and women differ so much. And I never have figured out
the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have never figured
out why men think with their head and women with their
heart.

FOR EXAMPLE: One evening last week, my girlfriend and
I were getting into bed.

Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she
eventually says "I don't feel like it, I just want you
to hold me."

I said "WHAT??!! What was that?!"

So she says the words that every boyfriend on the
planet dreads to hear...

"You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a
woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as
a man." She responded to my puzzled look by saying,
"Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do
for you in the bedroom?"

Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night,
I went to sleep.

The very next day I opted to take the day off of work
to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch
and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed
department store. I walked around with her while she
tried on several different very expensive outfits. She
couldn't decide which one to take so I told her we'd
just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment
her new clothes, so I said lets get a pair for each
outfit. We
went onto the jewelry department where she picked out
a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you...she was
so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short
of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me
because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she
doesn't even know how to play tennis. I think I threw
her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey."
She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of
the excitement.

Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, "I
think this is all dear, let's go to the cashier."

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No
honey, I don't feel like it."

Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped
with a baffled WHAT?"

I then said "honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff
for a while. You're just not in touch with my
financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your
shopping needs as a woman." And just when she had this
look like she was going to kill me, I added, "Why
can't you just love me for who I am and not for the
things I buy you?"

Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either.

Replies: 1 - 3 of 3View as Outline
Walt


Do what you can, with what you have, where you are. -T. Roosevelt

Location: Chester County, PA
Joined: Dec 31, 2004
Points: 148

Re: None tonight.
Reply #1   Mar 24, 2005 4:23 pm
MrMom,

You are welcome to sleep in my shed...and I really hope you're girlfriend doesn't remember John Bobbit!

Walt

Marshall


As Long As There Are Tests, There Will Be Prayer In Public Schools. ;- )

Joined: Sep 16, 2002
Points: 7730

Re: None tonight.
Reply #2   Mar 24, 2005 4:27 pm
Hahahaha! Put a fork in him, he's done. 
mrmom


Joined: Sep 19, 2003
Points: 345

Re: None tonight.
Reply #3   Mar 24, 2005 7:33 pm
Ha ha ha! That was a joke sent to me. Although I did think about doing the exact same thing the guy did. Oh well..... I guess sensibility rules.

Not all the time though.

Replies: 1 - 3 of 3View as Outline
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