I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men
and women differ so much. And I never have figured out
the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have never figured
out why men think with their head and women with their
heart.
FOR EXAMPLE: One evening last week, my girlfriend and
I were getting into bed.
Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she
eventually says "I don't feel like it, I just want you
to hold me."
I said "WHAT??!! What was that?!"
So she says the words that every boyfriend on the
planet dreads to hear...
"You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a
woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as
a man." She responded to my puzzled look by saying,
"Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do
for you in the bedroom?"
Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night,
I went to sleep.
The very next day I opted to take the day off of work
to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch
and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed
department store. I walked around with her while she
tried on several different very expensive outfits. She
couldn't decide which one to take so I told her we'd
just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment
her new clothes, so I said lets get a pair for each
outfit. We
went onto the jewelry department where she picked out
a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you...she was
so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short
of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me
because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she
doesn't even know how to play tennis. I think I threw
her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey."
She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of
the excitement.
Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, "I
think this is all dear, let's go to the cashier."
I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No
honey, I don't feel like it."
Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped
with a baffled WHAT?"
I then said "honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff
for a while. You're just not in touch with my
financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your
shopping needs as a woman." And just when she had this
look like she was going to kill me, I added, "Why
can't you just love me for who I am and not for the
things I buy you?"
Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either.