Community Discussions

Awww Linty One….sniff, sniff…I think I’m all choked up…wait..no..that’s a hair ball...

Ahh yes…innocence forever lost….

I started out so fresh-faced and innocent…searching only for answers about my Simplicity (the name itself sings of fields filled with wildflowers and butterflies…) and then stumbled upon a forum that I thought would be a fount of information…the WTB OPE forum….but instead….it was the beginning of the end….

While innocuously debating the merits of mulching plates, Gator blades and synthetic versus dino oil….a name flashed across my vision….Buttlint….Buttlint??  Immediately my fresh, pure mind was filled with images….I shook my head over and over….trying to rid myself of those mental horrors… and trying to suppress the almost unbearable urge to scratch myself in unmentionable places….

And while still recoiling in horror….backing away from my mind’s eye….I ran straight into a verible pile of quicksand… a nightmare almost worst than the last….Highwind!  aka Wind of High aka Windy One….Surely, this could only be a comment on the fresh breeze blowing through the tree branches….but, alas….it was not to be so.  With each line I read, I was filled with still more dread.  The name, I learned, was well earned….his reputation (as well as his person) had left a scorched, lifeless path be-hind him…those left still breathing, were an unhealthy shade of green…my nostrils twitched…what foul odor could this be?  It was just too much to contemplate…and too late to reach for my aerator…

Thus, hanging on to my last shred of innocence….I turned for comfort to the assumption that there is safety in numbers….never dreaming what final horror awaited me….yes…. the Chief, his Numbnuts tribe and his generously proportioned SILs….all arrayed in nothing but tribal paint….it was more than my fragile mind could get around….and I felt the tiny thread that held the last vestige of my innocence Snap! …

Filled with despair (and cup of coffee and a chocolate donut) …I have embraced the dark and murky world WTB/Abby’s OPE land filled with lint-filled crevices, foul, plant-withering odors, the Chief who forever has his hand on his tom-toms and SILs so mighty of size, they are rented out as shade for entire wedding parties.   I laugh at fear now….I have faced the worst…and lived to tell my tail….

Paula

BTW, nice "tail" there.   And your post was very funny too.

Sorry, couldn't resist the play on words with your typo. It was the  made me do it.

I wondered if anyone was going to catch my intentional 'typo"

Paula

I wondered if anyone was going to catch my intentional 'typo"

Paula

  Oh yeah, for sure.  It was "intentional".  Uh, huh. A millions others wouldn't believe you, but I would. Uh, huh. Oh yeah for sure.

You have to know that I know the difference between tail and tale....

Tales about tails might confuse some others (like Blondes...or Quebecois...) but this sharp little chunk of cheddar knows from whence tails (and tales) are born....

Tales spring from within....

Tails spring from without....

Tales are spun...

Tails spin....

Tales (sometimes about tails) can be tall....

Tails can be long, short, fat, skinny...but never quite measure to the tales told when men are trying to impress tail.....

And now this tale is told....as it is time to go pull a tail....

Paula

I think I liked it more when we were hijacking someone else's site...

"Hi Paula..............Youre travelling through another dimention not only of sight and sound but of mind;a journey into a wonderous land whose boundaries are that of imagination.That's the signpost up ahead-your next stop,the Abby Forum!"

Paula,

You just reminded me of another type of tail.

My dad always felt that to be a man one needed that first experience to be taught at the hands of a pro.

So when we reached that certain age where curiosity about the nature of certain things got the better of us, he'd take us to a local cat house. 

What follows is a picture from that first momentous event. 

HOWEVER, PLEASE BE ADVISED IT IS A SOMEWHAT GRAPHIC PICTURE 

AND MAY NOT BE SUITABLE FOR ALL AUDIENCES.         

DO NOT SCROLL ANY FURTHER IF PICTURES OF NUDITY OFFEND YOU!!

THIS IS YOUR LAST WARNING!!!

DO NOT SCROLL ANY FURTHER IF PICTURES OF NUDITY OFFEND YOU!!

 I WARNED YOU

 Well here it is:

MY FIRST PIECE OF TAIL

<<so much for WYSIWYG and centering>>

Now that I've seen you naked....and know just how far you'll go.....

THE MYSTERY IS GONE!!!!    All frontiers have been uncovered......all tales/tails told.....

**Sigh**

Paula

Now its YOUR TURN to bare it all for the forum, sweet cakes.  And since you got that nice digital camera, how about using it for a most recent pic, like a few minutes from now.

Man, forum membership is going to skyrocket after you put that pic on here. I hope your mail box can handle all the fan letters.

OK....I've 'beared" it all ... and fresh out of the bath at that....can't see where thats going to create a bunch of fan email but, if you say so....