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Marshall


As Long As There Are Tests, There Will Be Prayer In Public Schools. ;- )

Joined: Sep 16, 2002
Points: 7730

Don't like the news headlines?
Original Message   Jun 30, 2005 6:18 pm
Try these..............


HEADLINES OF 2004:



Crack Found on

Governor's Daughter

[imagine that!]





Something Went Wrong

in Jet Crash, Expert Says

[no, really?]





Police Begin Campaign

to Run Down Jaywalkers

[now that's taking things a bit far!]





Is There a Ring of Debris

around Uranus?

[not if I wipe thoroughly!]





Panda Mating Fails;

Veterinarian Takes Over

[what a guy!]





Miners Refuse to Work

after Death

[no-good-for-nothin' lazy so-and-sos!]





Juvenile Court to

Try Shooting Defendant

[see if that works any better than a fair trial!]





War Dims Hope

for Peace

[I can see where it might have that effect!]





If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly,

It May Last Awhile

[you think?!]





Cold Wave Linked

to Temperatures

[who would have thought!]





Enfield ( London ) Couple Slain;

Police Suspect Homicide

[they may be on to something!]





Red Tape Holds

Up New Bridges

[you mean there's something stronger than duct tape?!]





Man Struck By Lightning

Faces Battery Charge

[he probably IS the battery charge!]





New Study of Obesity

Looks for Larger

Test Group

[weren't they fat enough?!]





Astronaut Takes

Blame for Gas

in Spacecraft

[That's what he gets for eating those beans!]





Kids Make

Nutritious Snacks

[Tastes like chicken?]





Local High School

Dropouts Cut in Half

[Chainsaw Massacre all over again!]





Hospitals are Sued

by Seven Foot Doctors

[Boy, are they tall!]





And the winner is....



Typhoon Rips Through

Cemetery; Hundreds Dead

(Can you believe it?)

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