To put into proper perspective the lady Paula's observations, I offer the following additional "facts":
1. We got off the Titanic first.
That is because the men figured drowning was preferable to having to live with those women.
That is exactly what we wanted you to think....its much easier if you guys jump than if we have to push you!
3. Taxis stop for us.
Of course they do. It is safer than than proceeding through the intesection on a green light and being t-boned by a woman driver putting on her make-up with her power sander, while yakking on the cell phone to her best friend about yesterdays soap episode, and scoffing her 4th donut of the morning. New York city cabbies look like 80 year old Sunday drivers out on a country road compared to most female motorists.
Its called multitasking...you know...like when you speed through the remote watching 2 seconds of each show, while simultaneously scratching your nether regions and calling out to the Mrs. "Bring me a beer honey, wouldja?" Figured if I mentioned "remote," "scratch," and "beer" all in one sentence, you'd get the concept of multitasking...
)
5. No fashion faux pas we make, could ever rival the Speedo.
Ever consider two oversized legs with fat rolls flowing over the knees, and the legs rubbing together when she walks so that the squeeking noise rivals that of a locomotive braking. And then you stuff that in a mini-skirt 
Ever seen one of those "due any day now" beer bellies hanging over a speedo? Its enough to make you run home and dig everything out of your closet that contains Lycra and burn it.
6. We don't have to pass gas to amuse ourselves.
No woman has ever kept her mouth closed long enough to trap gas inside her.
See #15...as if men listen anyway? If you did, you'd realize we've been plotting the demise of all MANkind for years...sheesh!
8. We can congratulate our teammate without ever touching her rear end.
I like to congratuate females by touching their rear ends, whether they are teamates or not, when they are playing sports or not, but had to give it up when I found out how sensitive they were about it, and how sensistive my face was to being slapped.
Not our fault you have sensitive skin.
10. We have the ability to dress ourselves.
Men take pride in having the ability to undress women. We often brag about how many we've helped undress.
Yeah...and just like fishing...the stories are never close to the reality...
11. We can talk to the opposite sex without having to picture them naked.
Men only talk to women they want to see naked.
Which goes to show how much more versatile women are....we talk to all men so that we can laugh about some of them later with other women.
12. If we marry someone 20 years younger, we are aware that we will look like an idiot.
Marrying a woman 20 years younger makes a man look like a real stud, however.
I have two words for you....Donald Trump....I rest my case.
