Community Discussions

Dear Alcohol:

First & foremost, let me tell you that I'm a huge fan of yours. My friend, you always seem to be there when needed. The perfect post-work cocktail, a beer at the game, and you're even around in the holiday's hidden inside chocolates as you warm us when we're stuck in the midst of endless family gatherings.

However, lately I've been wondering about your intentions.

While I want to believe that you have my best interests at heart, I feel that your influence has led to some unwise consequences:

1. Phone calls: While I agree with you that communication is important, I question the suggestion that  any conversation of substance or necessity takes place after 2 a.m. Why would you make me call those ex-boyfriends/girlfriends when I know for a fact they do not want to hear from me during the day, let alone all hours of the night?

2. Eating: Now, you know I love a good meal, but why do you suggest that I eat a taco with chili sauce, along with a big Italian meatball and some stale chips (washed down with WINE & topped off with a Kit Kat after a few cheese curls & chili cheese fries)? I'm an eclectic eater, but I think you went too far this time.

3. Clumsiness: Unless you're subtly trying to tell me that I need to do more yoga to improve my balance, I see NO need to hammer the issue home by causing me to fall down. It's completely unnecessary, and the black & blue marks that appear on my body mysteriously the next day are beyond me. Similarly, it should never take me more than 45 seconds to get the front door key into the lock.

4. Furthermore: The hangovers have GOT to stop. This is getting ridiculous. I know a little penance for our previous evening's debauchery may be in order, but the 3pm hangover immobility is completely unacceptable! My entire day is shot. I ask that, if the proper precautions are taken (water, vitamin B, bread products, aspirin) prior to going to sleep/passing out face down on the kitchen floor with a bag of popcorn, the hangover should be minimal & in no way interfere with my daily activities.

Alcohol, I have enjoyed our friendship for some years now & would like to ensure that we remain on good terms. You've been the invoker of great stories, the provocation for much laughter, and the needed companion when I just don't know what to do with the extra money in my pockets. In order to continue this friendship, I ask that you carefully review my grievances above & address them immediately. I will look for an answer no later than Thursday 3pm (pre-happy hour) on your possible solutions & hopefully we can continue this fruitful partnership.

Thank you,
Your biggest fan

P.S. THINGS THAT ARE DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN DRUNK:

1. Innovative
2. Preliminary
3. Proliferation
4. Cinnamon

THINGS THAT ARE VERY DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN DRUNK:
1. Specificity
2. British Constitution
3. Passive-aggressive disorder

THINGS THAT ARE DOWNRIGHT IMPOSSIBLE TO SAY WHEN DRUNK:

1. Thanks, but I don't want to have sex.
2. Nope, no more beer for me.
3. Sorry, but you're not really my type.
4. Good evening, officer. Isn't it lovely out tonight?
5. Oh, I couldn't. No one wants to hear me sing. 

Bill you're the man!

It's not good to be ruled by anything, except God of course.

Highwind wrote:

Windy

You took the words right out of my mouth.  I've seen the devastating effect alcohol can have on not only the one addicted but also the family.  There is a movie called "Soft is the Heart of a Child" I have never been able to watch all the way through. 

Paula

Bill how did you come along with those cigarettes? 

Congratulations Bill. I've been sober 8 1/2 years now. I had a bad case of the "Irish Flu" and it does run in the family. My wife pulled an intervention on me. I could have lost everything, but wasn't stupid either. I spent a couple weeks at a nice little place way up in the mountains of Northeast Pennsylvannia. Never looked back and I don't miss it at all. It took my wife a lot of courage to do that. She's quite a gal.

                                                                    Kevin

AJace wrote:

Oh, I've been a non smoker for years now.  I was just comparing difficulty level in parting ways w/ the two.  Never did heroin, but they say Cigs a tougher to quit than heroin, and that supposedly is about the hardest thing to quit. 

Thanks for all the well wishes folks, didnt post to get those, but as to give hope and offer help to anyone goin through it.

I think almost anything can become an addiction if you're trying to hide from yourself or escape from yourself...there isn't anything more painful than really disliking the person staring back at you in the mirror...alcohol/drugs just dulls the pain of that for a while.

Bill D

Thats one of those neat things about giving....when you give (like with your offer to help) without expectation, you are usually given back many times over. 

Paula

I figure most everyone has a lifetime ration of alcohol that they can drink... I went through all mine early (fast and furious) and had to quit 9 years ago. It was hard, but got easier as time went by. Now if I could give up the cigarettes, doughnuts, cheeseburgers, and fries, I'd be darn near perfect.

bontaiJoe wrote:

+ 1

Ok Marshall, I'll bite..... what's the plus one? Although I have a feeling I know what it is.

+1 = ditto = me too = I can relate.